The Real Price of a "Free" Lunch

Our morning routine is packed with things to do and on a very tight timetable. So, once I found out that Princess Jasmine qualified for the free school lunch I very happily stopped packing her a sandwich every day. It may have only taken me 15 minutes or so to throw her lunch together, but I was still giddy with excitement about getting that time back because it meant I might actually be able to sit down for a few minutes and drink a cup of coffee.

Princess Jasmine hung the school lunch calendar on our fridge, so she could scope out her lunchtime favorites ahead of time. I didn't really pay too much attention to it, other than to take down the old one each month and hang up the new one. That is, until two days ago when I had to take the Princess for some fasting blood work. The test was in the middle of the day, which meant she had to forgo lunch. As we sat in the waiting room she was about ready to eat the furniture, she was so hungry.

"I can't wait to be done so I can eat." She said, salivating. "I wanted to eat that pizza today, but I couldn't. It wasn't fair!"

"Oh, was it pizza day today?" I asked, surprised that they had pizza mid-week. Back in my day we were only allowed pizza on Fridays.

"We can have pizza any day." Princes Jasmine said, giving me a look that clearly said "Duh! This is common knowledge!"

"Really?" I said, feeling horribly behind the times. "Well what else do you eat at lunchtime? You don't eat pizza everyday, do you?"

"No, that would get boring. Sometimes I eat healthy stuff, too."

"Oh good. Like what?"

"Sometimes we have chicken nuggets or mac-and-cheese."

"Right, but what about the healthy stuff you mentioned? What is it?"

I got another "Duh" look from the Princess. "Mom. That was it."

"What! No, I don't think so. Mac and cheese isn't all that healthy and neither are chicken nuggets. Don't they give you guys any real food over there?"

Princess Jasmine looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, sometimes we have corn dogs."

Even though Princess Jasmine assured me every kid was required to also take a small dish of salad with their entree, I was still horrified.

When I was a kid there was no such thing as "kid" food. You ate what your mom put in front of you, like it or not, and that was that. At school the lunch ladies actually cooked our lunch from scratch. Typical offerings were meatloaf with carrots and mashed potatoes, spaghetti with meat sauce, or pot roast with boiled potatoes and cabbage. The closest we came to today's "kid" foods were sloppy Joes or pizza on Fridays.

I'm not quite as hard-core about every kid cleaning their plate, no matter what, as my parents were, but I do require that everyone at least try everything that is on their plates. I usually give them more than one fruit and vegetable at every meal, and I let them trade with each other if they want. If one kid ate a double portion of broccoli while another had two slices of watermelon, I'm OK with that. What I will not do is cook multiple meals or permit a child to not eat a food I know they are able to eat just because they would rather have something else instead.

One of the most important things a parent can give a child - at least in my opinion - is healthy attitudes about food and the ability to eat a wide range of foods. To my mind, filling kids up with highly processed foods full of saturated fat and preservatives every day at lunch is putting them on the fast track to all kinds of health issues in the future. It also doesn't say much for the level of confidence that our schools have in the ability of children to learn to eat and appreciate a wide range of foods. It just seems like a needless waste of an incredibly important teachable moment to me.

So, although the lunch at school might technically be "free," considering the hidden future costs of obesity, hypertension and diabetes that might come with it, I think we'll just stick with brown bagging it for now. 

Now I send both Princesses off with turkey and cheese on whole grain bread, two pieces of fruit and a juice box.

Thanks for the Memories

A big brother is always there to listen to what you have to say, even when you only know a handful of words.

When my son was little he wanted a big brother more than just about anything. He imagined that his big brother would play with him, talk with him, and be his best friend. Had he actually had a big brother, I'm not so sure it would have been all sweetness and light as he envisioned, but that was his fantasy.

Although he never got the chance to have a big brother, he now is a big brother, a role which he takes very, very seriously. He is everything he himself wanted in a big brother. He is patient and kind. He always has a pocket full of smoke bombs. He picks the kids up from school and takes the long way home, just because he knows they like riding in his truck, and he always stops at the convenience store and lets them buy candy or gum or the icky pink milk that mom never lets them have. He plays board games with them while mom makes dinner and spins them like crazy on the tire swing in the park.

The downside of being a big brother is, of course, all the pesty things the little sisters and brothers do. One little sister broke his sunglasses. Another unraveled his dream catcher. All of them make way too much noise on weekend mornings when he's trying to sleep. And, of course, there is always the unexpected peeing or vomiting that always seems to happen with little kids, not to mention the occasional toxic diaper. He takes it all in stride, though, God bless him.

Last night he bought them water pistols and a bag of water balloons. As we stood on the porch watching them run around the lawn, squirting each other happily, I was struck once again by just how important these moments are. The future continues to be uncertain, but I have no doubt that the memories of carefree fun on a summers night will stay with these kids for a life time, thanks to the kindness and unconditional love of a big brother.

The complicated lives of superheros

Being a mom is a 24 hour job, literally. Like a superhero, mom has to be ready to save the day around the clock, under all circumstances. We need to be able to leap Lego buildings in a single bound and be faster than a speeding Nerf bullet!

Just like super heroes us moms have special super powers to help us in our quest. We can break up arguments with just one look, cook dinner, change a diaper and answer the phone, all at the same time, and we can make even the worst boo boo all better with a single kiss.

Some moms have side-kicks, called dads, who can be entrusted with certain aspects of child rearing. I've heard mixed things about dads. Some dads seem to have super powers equal to mom's, others to a lesser degree, but we'll discuss the merits of dads another day.

Like most superheros, we moms all have a dangerous Achilles heel that can reduce our superpowers to nothing in the blink of an eye. It is called F.A.T.I.G.U.E. This monster can suck the life out of a mom and make her feel like a deflated balloon in no time flat. F.A.T.I.G.U.E often creeps in slowly, over time. It happens to moms who routinely eat whatever their kids didn't finish, whether they're hungry or not, and to moms who don't get any exercise other than lugging the laundry up-and-down the stairs, or who don't plan any "mom" time in their day.

Before the poor mom knows what has happened, she's got an extra 30 pounds weighing her down, making her feel lethargic and preventing her from jumping over the aforementioned Lego houses.

So, what can a mom do to prevent F.A.T.I.G.U.E from stealing her mommy mojo? The answer, believe it or not, comes straight out of mom's own bag of tricks: The sticker chart.

Yes, I said the sticker chart.

I know, I know, it seems like it is all about the stickers, but trust me, the stickers are really just a clever disguise! The sticker chart is actually a sophisticated tool for setting goals, planning strategies and measuring success. If we could only convince the government to use sticker charts, they might actually get something done for once, but we won't get into that.

So what is on my mommy sticker chart? Well, on mine I'm focusing on exercise. If I exercise for thirty minutes four days out of seven I get an extra thirty minutes of "mom" time on the weekend. Princess Ariel, on the other hand, is working towards a new Barbie doll while Princess Jasmine's goal is earning a meal shared with a special friend.

Every day we have a sticker chart meeting where we compare notes. I dole out the girls stickers and they dole out mine. If one of us didn't hit our goal for the day we give her encouragement and support. Likewise, we all celebrate with whoever whoever earned a sticker that day. The group aspect of it helps keep us all accountable and on track. Truly, it is girl power in action, which is perhaps the most super power of them all.

The sticker chart, just one of the tools us moms use to keep our kids - and ourselves - heading in the right direction